Someone has rightly said that kids are like potter’s clay. They can be molded very effortlessly. Their heart is so delicate and pure that they get impressions from whatever they see around themselves. Out of all the vices, the one that kids find easy is “telling lies”. As a parent, it can be very painful to spot your kids lying and to understand from where he or she learned this wrong habit. This act of lying not just hurts the parents but also makes them feel that it is their fault that their kids lie.
Lying, however, in reality, is a very normal problem of childhood. If we try to understand it from a kid’s perspective, we would understand it better. Often kids find themselves in a situation when they know they would be scolded or even punished. In such a situation, they try to get out of the situation by telling lies. They find it quite convenient to tell lies and escape a troublesome situation. Most of the times, the kids are not even aware that they are lying or that they are doing a wrong thing by lying. In such a situation, it is very important for the parents to let their kids know of right and wrong and to help them face a difficult situation with honesty.
To curb this problem and to address it efficiently, parents should first try and understand the reasons behind it. Few reasons have been listed below.
Kids can be simply lying to get attention or to get benefits. Attention is something that the kids love to receive. Even when they have the attention of the whole house, they can lie to add to this attention level. Same is for benefits, to get another candy, they don’t find lying wrong.
Sometimes parents themselves can be a reason behind their kids lying. Some parents think that if they are strict, the kids are going to follow rules and will always do what is right. However, it might be opposite. In order to safeguard them from scolding, a kid might lie. Further, over protective nature of the parents can be another reason behind their kids telling lies. A child can lie in order to escape his parents’ vigilance.
Peer pressure and sibling rivalry can also be reasons for the lying behavior. In order to fit in a particular group or to prove themselves better than their sibling can drive them to tell lies.
No matter how much you preach moral science lessons to your kids, they will do as they will see you doing. Sometimes even after telling them the goodness of being true through words, they will pick your actions over your words. For example, when they see you lying to your friend about being busy on a phone call when you are actually not, they will feel that lying is not bad.
How to stop kids from lying
Once you realize you kid has been lying, it is important to understand that shouting and being angry are not the solutions to bring him on track. Rather the situation should be handled more carefully and peacefully. One can try using the following steps to deal with the situation:
- Talking to the kid should be the first and foremost step in correcting this behavior. He should be made to understand that he will not be scolded or yelled at for no reason. Further, the parents should try building a comfortable relationship with their kids by talking with them so that the kids don’t feel hesitant in telling their parents about their fears and hence they will find no need to lie.
- Parents should always praise the value of being truthful in front of their kids.
- Kids always look up to their parents as their first role models. Especially the younger kids. They will copy you and hence it is always important to set good examples for them to look up to.
- Parents should avoid giving kids a label or a title. Even after catching them red-handed while telling a lie, they should avoid using the term ‘liar’ for them as this can scar the kids emotionally.
- For smaller kids, parents can try reading books to them. Stories with lessons and high moral value can help kids learn better about virtues of life like bravery, truthfulness, honesty and the like.
As a parent, it is very important to understand that lying is a part of childhood and they themselves have also done it when they were kids. Therefore this is not a crime that their kid is doing, rather is perfectly normal. So they should try and handle the situation maturely so that their kid knows and understands the actual reason as to why lying is bad.